The Plate

Xavier and Ariadne went to the markets yesterday (I must confess I wished I could have gone too but I am still trying to curb my acquisitive tendencies). I agreed to dog-sit Matilda. They arrived quite late in the day when some stall holders were packing up and others were reducing prices. The general feeling was it had been a slow day and there were bargains to be had.
Xavier spotted this gloriously, exuberantly, vulgar (I am pea green with envy) plate. Ariadne loved it on sight. Now Xavier is still in 'maritime' mode so when they approached the stall holder he said
'I would like to ask the price of this plate and when you reply it would be appropriate for you to address me as Captain and give a salute'.
Well you can imagine the stall holder's surprise but I believe the man did as asked, though he was heard to mutter
'So where's your Captain's hat then?'
Xavier being Xavier took exception to his 'tone' and proceeded to give him a tongue lashing.
'I am on shore leave with permission from Poseidon himself, whose Cosmic Greatness I am in the process of revealing to the world' etc.
Ariadne stood by, noncommittal but I assume becoming a little embarrassed, especially as a crowd was collecting. To complicate matters the Peruvian stall holder Xavier had upset a few weeks ago then piped up accusing him of being a trouble maker. Ariadne calmed the waters by saying,
'This man may appear a little odd, I know, but you must understand he is a creative soul and if we can simply pay for our plate we will trouble you no further.'
'I'm not sure I want to sell it to you' replies the stall holder.
Xavier, totally uncharacteristically, then said
'Sir. I apologise if I seemed abrupt before. Please allow me to purchase this lovely plate, which I may say only reflects the high quality of goods on your delightfully appointed stall, so that I may present it to my lady friend who you might agree is a most lovely and elegant person.'
Well the stall holder was now a little taken aback and mumbled
'All right then', was paid, hands were shaken, smiles blossomed as the plate was handed over. Ariadne and Xavier left, beaming, arm in arm and related the whole to Matilda and I over iced chocolates and dried cherries.
Xavier has commissioned Norma-Jean to make him a Captain's Hat.